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How to Travel to Scotland
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Thursday, July 17
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How to bonk a lady
The ultimate souvenir / Das perfekte Souvenir
Take bus to airport
Fleeing from a perfume doused lady, take up residence in front row
Make curious bus driver green with envy (We're going to Scotland!) in between hasty gulps of fresh air each time she opens the door
While away a couple of hours at Amsterdam airport window shopping
Be bored out of your skull and browse the shops some more
Don't miss the souvenir and clothes shop: wooden clogs, windmills and tulips galore
Bonk with your foot against the base of a scantily clad mannequin while walking over to the clothes section
Make snappy comment about the bloomin' thing being in the way
Bonk with your foot against the base of the scantily clad mannequin on the way back to the windmills
Have giggling fit
How to arrive
The elegant lady / Die elegante Dame
Finally land in Paisley airport
Say "Welcome home" to the elderly Scottish gentleman in the seat next to you which makes him laugh
Head across the grey and pink carpet, past the "Welcome to Scotland/FĂ ilte gu Alba" signs to pick up your luggage and grab a taxi
Remember the location of the guest house from the previous year, so you're certain the taxi driver doesn't give you the scenic route
Actually, learn some new shortcuts from said taxi driver and get to know some interesting back streets
Manage to work the Victorian doorbell on the third try
Say hi to the black cat. We're back!
How to go to the bathroom at the Grassroots
Scottish weather / Schottisches Wetter
Follow the toilet sign in the back
Get lost in a many-doored hall
Ask security guard for the way
Get told to just "go behind the tree"
Yep, that's the correct door
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Last edited: 29 August 2008 14:03:07